i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
