Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize