I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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