Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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