I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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