Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
