If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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