God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
