i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
