I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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