He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
