you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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