I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
