I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
