you guys were way drunker than both of me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize