I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
