She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
