hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
