Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
