if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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