Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
