are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize