She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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