oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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