How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
