can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
