in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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