plz talk dirty to me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
