my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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