It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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