With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
