Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
