I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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