ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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