Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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