Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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