Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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