Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
