i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
