I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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