So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
