All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
