Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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