in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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