it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
