I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
