Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
