what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize