Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
