you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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