reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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