i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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