I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
