So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize