Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
