ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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