Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
