i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm just crazy horny about you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
