he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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