High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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