Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
