Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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