he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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