I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We have started to decorate penises.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
