Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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