Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
