I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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